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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29774679">so, a delinquent and a maniac walk into a bar (... that’s it. that’s the joke.)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>under heaven, we self-destruct [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BlazBlue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blind Date, Blood-Related Step-Siblings, But with love, Crack Treated Seriously, Enemies to Lovers, Gen, Getting Adopted by Assholes, Incestuous UST, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Platonic Romance, Platonic-Romantic Incest, RagJin Birthday Exchange 2021, Romantic Angst, Survivor Guilt, Technically Amnesiac Saya, and they were ROOMMATES, fistfight me in a back alley at 3 am, murder attempts, no beta we die like Ragna, punch me in the face with your face</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:29:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29774679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
They don’t know they’re related, is the thing. How Jin managed to hide that fact from everyone, Ragna can only guess. But, what’s done is done, and, really, it can’t be helped.
</p><p>
Unsurprisingly, their friends really are idiots.
</p><p>
(Very surprisingly, though, kissing his brother isn’t as bad as he’d thought it would be.)
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hazama Honoka/Rachel Alucard, Hazama Honoka/Yukianesa, Jin Kisaragi &amp; Hazama Honoka, Jin Kisaragi &amp; Ragna the Bloodedge (BlazBlue), Jin Kisaragi/Ragna the Bloodedge (BlazBlue), Ragna the Bloodedge &amp; Hazama Honoka, Ragna the Bloodedge &amp; Noel Vermilion, Ragna the Bloodedge &amp; Saya, Yukianesa &amp; Jin Kisaragi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>under heaven, we self-destruct [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so, a delinquent and a maniac walk into a bar (... that’s it. that’s the joke.)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For: Nice.!</p><p>
  <strong>Prompt:</strong>
</p><p>&gt; Prompt 1: Blind Date</p><p>&gt; Prompt 2: “This is the last box of [item] at the grocery store which I really like and am adamant that I have but you are pretty cute so you might get a pass..."</p><p>&gt; Prompt 3: Step brother AU where they shouldn't be digging one another but you know they are. (Possibly romantic prior to parents being engaged or?).</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Listen. Ragna isn’t one to question where life will take him, for all that he resists change. People fall apart. Worlds end. It’s just the kind of truth that makes sense. The kind of truth that <em> happens </em>, because people are complicated, and trying to pretend they’re not is just more trouble than it’s worth.</p><p>“<em> Really </em>?! Of all the possible —!”</p><p>Well, at least Ragna <em> wasn’t </em> one to question things too much.</p><p>“... Nii-san?”</p><p>Ragna can practically see the moment Jin realizes it’s him, from the way his smile <em> twists </em> and his eyes light up in unholy glee.</p><p>“<em> Nii-san! </em>”</p><p>Ragna’s fingers twitch towards something he can use to defend himself, but by the time he’s moved, it’s already too late. Jin quickly leaps from his chair, knocking over a candle in his haste, and while the restaurant starts panicking over the actual <em> fire </em> his brother’s set, Ragna is forced to endure the arms and limbs wrapped tight around his body, refusing to let go.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>(In Ragna’s defense, seeing Jin again, so soon after their last… altercation… was a bit of a shock.)</p><p>((... The blade digging a hole in his gut really isn’t helping, any.))</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>It starts over something incredibly stupid, wrong, and completely his fault, and ends pretty much the same way. </p><p>Ragna will be the first to admit that he’s never known anyone outside of the orphanage, his parents included. But, Jin and Saya are important to him, and Ragna refuses to let them go.</p><p>(Well, <em> refused </em>. The present tense isn’t quite so honest, anymore.)</p><p>Then, Saya gets sick, and Ragna realizes that he’s being selfish. That he doesn’t have the power to protect his siblings, not when it comes to something so outside of his control. That the moon is falling, just like Jin feared, but it’s because Ragna isn’t strong enough to keep it in the sky, where it <em> belongs </em>.</p><p>When a woman by the name of Yukianesa offers Jin a chance at a future, Ragna lets her take him away, and refuses to look his little brother in the eye. The tears and screams only come to the kid when Jin realizes Ragna isn’t coming with him, but, by then, it’s already too late, and Jin is gone, gone, gone.</p><p>And, look, Ragna isn’t <em> abandoning </em>Jin. That’s not what this is about. But, he’s been so focused on Saya’s failing health that he’s been neglecting the other. Neglecting his brilliance, his potential. His eager adoration for the big brother he believes is infallible.</p><p>… Ragna isn’t as strong as Jin thinks. And, maybe that’s why he feels so guilty; because he knows a part of the reason he even let the woman take him away was because Ragna couldn’t <em> bear </em>to see what would happen when Jin sees that pedestal he’s put Ragna on shatter into a hundred different pieces, each more fragile and useless than the last.</p><p>Saya, frail as she is, is adopted similarly by a short, prim lady with long, blonde locks and brilliant ruby eyes. “Rachel Alucard,” she offers, when Ragna asks her who she thinks she is. </p><p>The name is attached to power, and prestige. This time, Ragna resists the edge of weakness, or failure, and gets down on his hands and knees to <em> beg </em>that Rachel let Ragna come with Saya.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>He’s already failed Jin by not reassuring him that he wasn’t being thrown away.</p><p>(Ragna will be <em> damned </em> if he lets the same thing happen to Saya.)</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>Life happens. The Alucard family, with its store of wealth and knowledge, is easily able to afford the medical care Saya needs. All throughout, Ragna runs errands for the staff, and grudgingly listens to Rachel speak about the history of her family and lineage.</p><p>When Saya wakes up, her body no longer burns like coal. But, the look in her eyes is vacant, and the memories she’s had for so long are lost. Maybe just for now, maybe for forever.</p><p>Rachel stops Ragna before he has too much time to delve into his grief. “Better to savor the time you have, lest you begin to live in the past and forget the present,” she tuts with a shake of her head. </p><p>Ragna rubs the spot on his head where she’d hit him lightly with the end of her parasol, but slides into the seat across from her on the veranda, nevertheless. Though her eyes are closed, Rachel smiles softly, and slides a cup of tea in Ragna’s direction.</p><p>Saya becomes Noel. Ragna stays Ragna. And Rachel Alucard offers them the anonymity they need, after so much time spent worrying.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>“Vermilion’s not too terrible a name, now, is it?”</p><p>Ragna huffs. “It’s stupid, is what it is,” but still grins ruefully when Rachel chides him for his attitude with a smack of her parasol to his arm. </p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>Ragna copes with his situation as best he can. A brother he’s betrayed, and a sister who doesn’t even remember him. Things could be worse, but Ragna isn’t one to try and regret things that he can’t change. </p><p>Not anymore, at least.</p><p>It isn’t until Rachel urges Ragna to interact with people outside of her estate that everything starts to fall apart. <em> Again </em>.</p><p>Three years after joining the Alucard family, Rachel pushes Ragna to actually return to his education. Soon after, <strike>Saya</strike> Noel has caught up in the literal <em> years </em>of curriculum she’s missed, and is eager to make her way into her dream job. </p><p>Unfortunately, these desires coincide with the social experience known as public schools and the awful nagging of nosy neighbor and actual, legitimate moocher Tao. </p><p>Tao, with the cat-ear headphones and floppy hoodie, who had rescued Ragna from yet another brawl in the city, courtesy of his gray hair and terrible propensity for leather jackets and harsh words and failure to negotiate after he’d already dragged his reputation through the mud.</p><p>Another reason, Ragna can guess, why Rachel decided on the name and the offer.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>Needless to say, it isn’t a surprise that Ragna caved.</p><p>(Though, finding out Jin went to the <em> same school </em> definitely was.)</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>Things just get more ridiculous, from there, Ragna realizes. At some point, refusing to regret became accepting everything that came his way, regardless of how stupid it was.</p><p>Ragna and <strike>Saya</strike> Noel end up traveling to the school. They meet quirky teachers and quirkier classmates, and get dragged into all sorts of situations that Ragna would really rather he <em> didn’t </em>. </p><p>And maybe Ragna’s memory is failing him, because he’s <em> certain </em> he should have recognized his psychology teacher, but, as it stands, the name Yukianesa doesn’t stick quite as well as it should have. Another reason why Ragna is a bad brother, because how could he have <em> forgotten </em>?</p><p>Hazama, his homeroom teacher, is a prick. The quiet girl from across the room is definitely untrustworthy. And the pink-haired harpy is the worst kind of teacher’s pet.</p><p>… And then there’s <em>Jin</em>, who Ragna doesn’t clash with until an entire friggin’ <em>month </em>into the semester. Because, apparently, trying to avoid squinty-eyed Hazama and his aura of definitely-a-creep by being late to school everyday also meant not running into class representative <em>Jin</em> <em>Kisaragi</em>.</p><p>Which, of course, means that Ragna runs into said class representative while beating up another group of idiots who wanted to prove they were stronger than the new “tough-guy delinquent” that had decided to grace their halls.</p><p>When Jin meets his own widening eyes, Ragna drops the unconscious guy in his grip with a terrible crash. The fountain pen in Jin’s grip caves between his fingers, and breaks.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>“Why the hell are <em> you </em> here?!”</p><p>(“I could say the same about <em> you </em> , <em> nii-san </em>!”)</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>It’s a miracle and a half that nobody had seen the altercation that followed. Or the fact that Ragna couldn’t focus on any lectures when he’d been gritting his teeth in frustration. </p><p>Maybe it was guilt, or maybe it was regret. Maybe it was the fact that Ragna hadn’t seen Jin in years, and didn’t know how to handle him. Maybe it was all of those things, and the frustration that Ragna had been wrong, was <em> still </em> wrong, and could not take it back, any of it.</p><p>Either way, from that day, onwards, Ragna and Jin seem to have come to an unspoken agreement. Delinquent to Class Representative. Brother to Brother.</p><p>No one knows that Ragna Vermilion and Jin Kisaragi are related.</p><p>(… Well, no one knows until much, much later, that is.)</p><p>Ragna gets into fights. Noel thrives in the classes where she does not need to speak. Jin spits vitriol with Ragna in the halls, but there’s a mad gleam in his eyes that seems to crack more and more every day they see each other.</p><p>Jin doesn’t ask about the black eyes and bloody nose. Ragna doesn’t ask about the bruises around his neck and the long sleeves that cover Jin’s wrists. </p><p>(<strike>Saya</strike> Noel doesn’t even know enough to ask.)</p><p>It’s a system that works for them, most days. The other days, they let their guard down, and make do.</p><p>Sometimes, Ragna will let Jin shove him into a bathroom stall and wipe the wounds off his face with rough hands and furious scowls. Sometimes, Jin will let Ragna push him up against the wall of a janitor’s closet, and let him just hold Jin close, the stutter of a breath leaving his lips. </p><p>And, sometimes, Jin will stop pretending he’s as put together as everyone thinks he is, giving in to the emotions that stalk his heels. Getting into a vicious brawl with Ragna, at that point, is just par for the course.</p><p>… The knife wounds from those fights still ache for days, after, Ragna knows.</p><p>Then, three weeks before summer vacation, life happens, like it always does, and sets their dynamic on fire all over again.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>“What do you <em> mean </em> , you <em> married </em>that creepy bastard?!”</p><p>“Hazama Kisaragi is an influential man, Ragna. Besides… he has, unfortunately, made an offer I, as head of the Alucard Family, could not possibly refuse.”</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>So, yeah. Apparently, Rachel decided to friggin’ <em> marry </em>Hazama. Which, fine. Not like he cares.</p><p>But, then, Ragna finally manages to put two and two together, and realizes that that Yukianesa bitch from literature was the <em> same </em>woman from back when Jin got taken in. Which, not his best moment, Ragna realizes, when he remembers to even show up for her class.</p><p>
  <em><strike> Sharp nails on chalkboard, and the silent, poisonous words that slip from her lips like toxin, ringing softly in the minds of everyone for months after she’s spoken them, and —</strike> </em>
</p><p>Alright, so Yukianesa was probably the worst person to leave Jin with. That’s fine, that’s okay. But, Jin hasn’t seemed the worst for wear. So what if Ragna’s shit decision left Jin with a shit mom?</p><p>(Yet, somehow, the thing Ragna is most stuck on is the fact that <em> Hazama </em> , freaking <em> Hazama </em> , <em> raised </em> Jin. )</p><p>… Ragna isn’t sure if it’s too late to regret that he’s <em> also </em> going to be seeing a lot more of his creepy homeroom teacher at the estate. Or that he’ll need to find a <em> lot </em> more locks for his and Saya’s rooms, now.</p><p>Tao, bless her mooching heart, suggests the easiest solution to this predicament is to dorm on-campus. Because, of <em> course </em>it is.</p><p>Ragna breathes a deep sigh of long-suffering resignation, knocks on Rachel’s door, and pointedly does <em> not </em> beg her to let him live far, far away from here.</p><p>(He does have <em> some </em> pride left, after all.)</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>“... You mean you didn’t <em> know </em>?”</p><p>“Hazama has an… <em> interesting </em>… way of giving away surprises,” Jin laughs, but his eyes are hard, and full of poison.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>Ragna takes comfort in the fact that Jin hadn’t been told Hazama and Yukianesa had <em> divorced </em> , let alone that the green-haired bastard had gotten <em> remarried </em>. Which is stupid, but misery does love company, and it’s easy to ignore the guilt over shit news with even shittier news, after all these years.</p><p>Of course, when Ragna ended up being shoved into Jin’s room by a smiling stepfather with a cheery push and a wave, said surprise did not last very long. Or help, <em> at all </em> , once Jin found out Ragna was going to be <em> living </em> with him.</p><p>The occasional quiet word or bandaged scar isn’t really enough to leave Ragna and Jin in comfortable silence for long. A callous statement from Ragna, and a biting snarl from Jin, and the two are at each other’s throats once more.</p><p>It should say a lot more about Ragna than it does that when Jin shoves his back onto the floor, <em> hard </em> , and straddles him, Ragna thinks Jin looks the most wild and feral and <em> real </em> than he ever does in those stuffy, put-together, student council uniform.</p><p>It should say a lot more about Jin than it does that when he has Ragna in his grasp, Jin doesn’t bother with niceties, and leans down to shove nearly a decade’s worth of emotions loose into the back of Ragna’s throat.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>“<em> So </em> . Are we gonna talk about you playing tonsil hockey with my <em> mouth </em> , just now — or, well, me with <em> yours </em>, or…?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Jin practically <em> growls </em> , his fists in Ragna’s collar possessive, and proceeds to show Ragna that breathing isn’t all that important, really. <em> Especially </em> not when he could be doing <em> this </em> for <em> hours </em>.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>They don’t know they’re related, is the thing. Ragna’s friends and Jin’s friends are sometimes the same people, but, surprises of surprises, the fact that Ragna is Jin’s terrible older brother and Jin is Ragna’s (second) weakness never comes up in common conversation.</p><p>To be fair, Ragna knows it’s because a lot of friends can’t be trusted as far as he can throw them. They’re all stupid, and annoying, and in desperate need of learning how to be god-damn <em> normal </em> and <em> not </em> take advantage of the Rabbit’s almost <em> endless </em> wallet, and, okay, maybe Ragna hasn’t been entirely honest with them about something as simple as a <em> name </em>.</p><p>Ragna the Bloodedge is somehow a more important title than Ragna the Big Brother. And, yeah, okay, Ragna can see the logic in that. What he <em> can’t </em> see is how Jin managed to hide that same fact about <em> himself </em> from everyone. </p><p>Ragna can only guess just how far Jin’s separated his identities from everyone. Be it the creepy, green-haired bastard who <em> still </em> seems to know everything, or the honor-bound chick who Jin at least <em> respects </em> , even if he’d rather she stop following in his footsteps, or even the <em> ridiculous </em> morons who knew about Jin’s less-than-proper cruelty, but still put all their cards with Mr. Student Council President, himself, Jin is surprisingly good at maintaining the mask.</p><p>It’s only when he’s with Ragna that he stops trying to keep it. Ragna <em> would </em> feel bad about it, but seeing Jin makes <em> him </em> feel just as uncertain. And, really, what’s done is done! Honest!</p><p>… Ragna would feel less like a liar about this claim if he <em> wasn’t </em> currently being rushed to a hospital, blood slipping past his lips and a dumb, fond glare in his eyes. Jin’s smile is wicked and twisted, false sympathy and falser words on the tip of his tongue as he holds Ragna’s hand tightly in-between his own cold, blood-stained grip.</p><p>At some point after Jin friggin’ <em> stabbed </em> him in greeting and then proceeded to lie to the authorities when they were called in, all while smoke filled the air and the restaurant burns down to the ground, Ragna passes out from exhaustion. </p><p>He knows Jin’ll still be here when he wakes up, but he cares less about the fact that they interrupted their own less-than-stellar blind date as he does about the people that tried to set them up.</p><p>Ragna’s last thought, before the blood loss and dizziness finally get to him, is that their friends really <em> are </em>idiots.</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p><p>Jin leans down to press his lips softly against Ragna’s own, less teeth, less pent-up rage, and something quiet and bittersweet in the taste of him, as sirens wail into the night.</p><p>(Surprisingly, Ragna muses, kissing his brother like this isn’t as bad as he’d once thought it would be.)</p><p>⭑✵⭑</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is crack narrative treated seriously, OTL.</p><p>I took the liberty of mixing a few prompts together to give off that nice, crazy effect. Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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